


Soother My Soul

by voices_in_my_head



Category: Thor (Movies), Thor: The Dark World - Fandom
Genre: Thor 2 Spoilers, and it isn't really a spoiler, because it's awesome, because there's Heimdall and Loki, so of course it's awesome, that's the only spoiler I'm giving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-02
Updated: 2013-11-02
Packaged: 2017-12-31 06:19:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1028259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voices_in_my_head/pseuds/voices_in_my_head
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Don't read if you haven't watched Thor 2 yet.</p>
<p>"He's already made this jump. He's already seen what's being the veil."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soother My Soul

**Author's Note:**

> So, I saw Thor 2 yesterday and it's aweeesome! I mean, who expected that ending? Not me, for sure. Anyway, this appeared when I was watching Loki almost going through the black hole (and holly shit, that was scaring) and hasn't let go since then. So, here you go.

No, no, no. No! It can’t be happening again. It can’t. He already made this jump. He’s already seen what’s behind the veil. He doesn’t want to go a second time. Please, not again.

Loki isn’t afraid of many things. He is definitely not afraid of death. And why would he? All that means to him is freedom and possibly to be reunited with his daughter. No, death doesn’t scare him. But the darkness that will find him if he goes through that hole? That scares him more than anything. He wonders if it shows on his face. Of course it does, since his… imprisonment he hasn’t been as good at masking his emotions.

He doesn’t want this a second time. He’s not even thinking if he deserves it. Some would say yes, some would say no (would anyone, really? Maybe someone as mad as him) but he doesn’t care. Loki isn’t preoccupied with the rest of the world, not right now. He’s preoccupied with himself because he’s going to go back to the darkness and he doesn’t want to.

It doesn’t mean death and it doesn’t mean madness (not when he’s already there). It means… it means everything that hides in the dark. It means monsters and wasn’t it cute of him to pretend to be one when he’s scared of them? A real monster wouldn’t be scared of his brothers.

Loki pretends to be a monster, but he could never be one. Not like the ones in the dark. Not like Thanos and all the others he met while falling.

He doesn’t want to fall again. No, that’s wrong, he didn’t fall the first time. He let go.

He didn’t mind it at the time. Thor certainly wouldn’t let go, not even after he tried to destroy Jotunheim and Odin might be capable of pulling them up, but what if he didn’t? Killing all the frost giants was one thing. Being responsible for his brother’s death was an entirely different one.

So Loki let go. He expected death or maybe nothing. He would just fall and fall. That hadn’t seemed such a bad thought in the beginning. Loki was used at being alone, physically and otherwise. Eventually he would stop at some point, right? And even if he didn’t, would it matter?

Who would care where Loki of Jotunheim ended up? Certainly not his fake family. Asgard would throw a feast. No, letting go had not seemed such a bad idea at the time.

He wonders, if he had known the truth would he have let go?

He’s thinking of the answer, still answering no in his head, when Thor throws him away.

Thor… his brother… saved him.

They look each other in the eyes and Loki knows his brother thought of that day two years ago (has it really only been two years? It feels like an eternity to him).

Then they’re fighting and the moment is gone.

But it reapers when Loki sees Thor losing. Going to him isn’t a choice. He doesn’t weigh the pros and cons, instead he does what he’s been doing for all of his life: protect his brother’s back, if he’s aware or not.

When the weapon goes through him he can’t say he didn’t see it happening.

The monster goes through the black hole and Loki has a flash of his time in the darkness. It lasts less than a second and then he’s back on earth, as a way of speaking, that is.

It’s a deep wound, but it isn’t fatal, at least not unless he doesn’t treat it. He could just lay there. Say goodbye to his brother. Why shouldn’t he? If he survives he’ll just back to prison, and this time with no mother to keep him company. (Mother, would she be proud of him?)

What if he saves himself but doesn’t tell Thor? He’s capable of pretending to be dead. He would be free. He could go back at walking between the worlds doing… doing whatever he wanted. He could forget the name Loki and begin a new life. Or he could go back to Asgard and do something. He doesn’t know what exactly, but it sounds like a good plan.

He says his goodbyes to his brother. And when he tells him he didn’t do it for Odin, does he mean he did it for Frigga or for Thor? He doesn’t know. But he won’t have to answer either.

As far as Thor is concerned, he’s dead.

After all, he was never afraid of dying.

 


End file.
